WASHINGTON, DC – “Amid a whirlwind of evidence piling up against the President, we’re learning that Joe Biden may have committed some ‘light treason.’ But remember his son Beau died? So who are we, a simple news outlet, to report on his international felonies? That would be gross.” That was the first and only paragraph…
Category: Biden
Needing To Kill Russians Without Firing A Shot, Biden Asks Alec Baldwin To Go To Ukraine
WASHINGTON, D.C.– The White House is sending Alec ‘Hot Shot’ Baldwin to Ukraine after the administration decided they need to conquer Russia, without actually firing a weapon. “Allen! It’s me! Jill’s first lady’s brother, Joe Baldwin!” Biden began his call to the actor. “I need you on the first train to Ukraine! And pack your magic trigger…
‘Hail To The Chief’ Song To Be Replaced With The Benny Hill Theme Music For Remainder Of Biden Presidency
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After a dozen staffers spent ten minutes chasing Joe Biden around the Rose Garden before he somehow managed to fall up another flight of stairs last month, the White House has announced that the iconic “Hail to the Chief” anthem will be replaced with “The Benny Hill Theme Music” for the remainder…
Emmanuel Macron Asks USA For Help, Biden Replies, ‘Draw Me Like One Of Your French Girls’
Washington, D.C. – In a disastrous attempt to flirt with Emmanuel Macron, Joe Biden reportedly asked the French President to ‘Draw me like one of your French girls,’ in a recent phone call. The remark came after Biden watched James Cameron’s Titanic, again. The fictional president claims the film ‘calms him down.’ Particularly the end,…
Joe Biden Waves To Empty Field, CBS Caught Changing Photo Into Him Surfing
LANCING, MI — When Joe Biden’s plane landed in Michigan, his brain was apparently still hovering 30,000 feet in the air. Because while exiting the plane, he believed a Trump-sized crowd was showering him with cheers. “Well, would you look at that, Corn Pop?” he said while gazing and waving to a completely empty field. …