WASHINGTON-DC — The FBI has announced the Biden laptop contains a little-known episode of Shark Tank, which features Hunter pitching his father’s influence. In the footage, Hunter Biden approaches the sharks as the dramatic music plays. “Sharks, close your eyes and imagine this everyday scenario,” he instructed. “You’re on a seven-month, cocaine-fueled party yacht off…
Category: Biden
Donald Trump In Hot Water For Biden Not Caring About Hawaii Fires
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — It appears Donald Trump has gone too far again after reports surfaced that Biden went on vacation as Hawaii burned. “This wretched man just won’t stop, will he?” CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked his audience Sunday. “It’s a fact that Donald Trump never reminded Joe to care about the wellbeing of the Hawaiians—not at any…
Report: Joe Biden Presidency Just Elaborate 'Wanna Get Away' Southwest Ad
DALLAS, TX – As many suspected, the entire Joe Biden presidency was concocted by the marketing department over at Southwest Airlines. The commercial, nearing completion, will showcase a comical montage of the US economy collapsing, the vanquished energy sector, and poopy-pants Biden looking confused. Then the signature, “Wanna Get Away?” voice-over we all love so much,…
White House Spins Food Shortage As ‘The Joe Biden Diet’
WASHINGTON, D.C.–If you think a national food shortage could be a problem, you’re probably setting up folding chairs and the refreshment table for your local Qanon meeting at this very moment. At least, that’s what the White House is saying. After most Americans noticed the empty shelves in their local grocery store, this administration unveiled…
Dirty Job: Republicans Call Mike Rowe To Investigate Ashley Biden's Diary
WASHINGTON, DC — House Republicans have called upon Mike Rowe, host of the hit TV show “Dirty Jobs,” to investigate the Ashley Biden diary. Rowe, always eager to help blue-collar Americans, agreed to fly to D.C. before hearing the details of his assignment. “I’ve cleaned out septic tanks, handled venomous snakes, and twice hosed down…