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Trouble for GOP? Polling shows Democrats lock up baby-eater vote

Trouble for GOP?  Polling shows Democrats lock up baby-eater vote

New polling suggests the Democrat party is running away with voters who want to eat the babies. When asked “Which party best supports your right to eat the babies?” the Democrats got a whopping 98% a new Gallup poll reveals.

Despite ranking 2,219th in voters’ list of important issues, Republicans’ long history of keeping human children off the menu may bite them in key swing states for the 2020 elections.

“What if I’m hungry and the snack bar is closed?” Asked a concerned Ohio voter. “I actually like a lot of what Trump has done, but I feel the Democrats give me more food options.”

A lot can happen between now and November 2020 but Republicans are feeling pressure to get with the times already.

“Republicans can hope to peel off blue-dog Democrats with a strong economy, but you’re right. We’re worried about the single-issue voters who see the Democrats as their only ally with eating the babies,” a top GOP strategist told The Glorious American.

UPDATE: Mitt Romney has now endorsed baby eating