Over the weekend, Mayor Pete Buttigieg felt he was not getting enough media attention so he threatened to come out of the closet again.
To calm the Mayor down, the DNC arranged for him to be interviewed by “The Breakfast Club” radio show on Friday. During the interview, Buttigieg explained that for Christians to reach their full potential in God’s eyes, they’d need to become raging homosexuals.
“You know, what a lot of evangelicals fail to understand is that the Bible tells us we need to have the fruit of the spirit,” Pete began. “And early Hebrew translations tell us, we need to be the fruit.”
“ohhhhh. Word?” The interviewer whispered in amazement.
“And my pastor, T-Bone, who’s not a traditional pastor but more of a prophetic shift manager at TGI Friday’s, says the Bible is clear; Christians should be the fruitiest of all the fruit.”
After Buttigieg brought up Mike Pence’s name for the thirty-second time, The Breakfast Club team demanded he stop mentioning the VP. They were eventually forced to throw a bucket of cold water on him.
When asked what other insights Pastor T-Bone has for the nation, Mayor Pete said it was simple, “Everything within the 2019 Democratic platform can be justified with scripture!”
As per usual, Buttigieg concluded his interview weeping uncontrollably and cursing his father.