Most citizens in America like capitalism a lot But the old Wench from Boston? She definitely does not! We know she has hate and contempt for taxpayers And don’t get her started on those MAGA hat wearers. The Wench settled down, but couldn’t quite snooze. So she grabbed the remote and turned on some fake…
Category: U.S. News
Gavin Newsom To Live in Florida Year-Round To Better Report How Badly State Is Run
SACRAMENTO, CA — Gavin Newsom feels he needs to relocate. The California governor recently cut an ad explaining how he must move his family (and friends) to Florida to better understand the hellacious dystopia Ron DeSantis has created. While hastily packing up a U-Haul, Newsom spoke to the media. “This decision breaks my heart. It’s like…
To Avoid Controversy, Raiders Hire Hunter Biden As Head Coach
LAS VEGAS, NV — On Wednesday, the Las Vegas Raiders made a big step in restoring the public’s faith in humanity by hiring famed painter and long-time crackhead, Hunter Biden. “We chose Hunter because we needed to stop with the bad headlines. It was an easy hire because the whole gang at ESPN adores the kid. Plus, he had…
Ilhan Omar: ‘Every One Of My Brothers Who Disagrees With Me Just Wants To Marry Me’
Minneapolis, MN– Proud American and grateful immigrant, Ilhan Omar is being widely questioned after saying she feels her biological brothers only disagree with her because they want to marry her. Her comments came as the Omar gang piled into the family station wagon after visiting the George Floyd memorial. “No, Ahmed! You had the front…
Twist: McCarthy Identifies As Someone Who Gets To Remain Speaker
WASHINGTON, DC – With Diana Ross’s song I’m Coming Out blaring in the House chamber, Kevin McCarthy danced up to the main microphone and, before doing a little twirl, made an announcement that sent shockwaves through D.C. “Members of Congress, after some deep soul searching, I learned something about myself. And I am here to…