America’s heart was warmed this week when news broke that Sharon, a transitioning Mako Shark from California, was accepted to compete in the Summer Olympics. But after it was announced that Sharon would be swimming in the women’s 100-meter freestyle, the bigots started coming forward. “I’m not comfortable swimming next to a shark,” an Australian…
Category: Sports News
LeBron: ‘We're At The Point Where A Girl Can't Even Stab Her Friends Anymore’
With the country in disarray, Americans continue to turn to famed basketball dribbler and notable high school graduate LeBron James. Following an exhausting Lakers practice filled with gender pronoun drills and watching film (CNN), James issued a sobering reminder of how far this country has fallen in the wake of Donald Trump: “Ya know, it’s…
MLB Shocked To Learn Of High Gun Ownership Levels In Colorado, Moves All-Star Game To Texas
Shortly after moving their All-Star game from 1862 to modern-day Denver, Colorado, Major League Baseball was blindsided again and forced to find a new host city. After setting up for the big game, Media Matters sent a tweet showing that over 34% of Colorado citizens are registered gun owners. “Welp. Pack it up again, everyone!”…
MLB: ‘Minnesota Twins To Relocate If George Floyd Trial Doesn’t Go How We Want’
Minnesota baseball fans were handed some ominous news Saturday when Major League Baseball announced they would relocate the Minnesota Twins if they don’t like what the jurors say in the George Floyd Trial. “As a sports league, our first job is to shape politics and help Democrats,” MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred said. “In fact, it’s…
Tiger Woods ‘Lucky To Be Alive’ After Trump Wishes Him Well, Media Says
It was a close call for Tiger Woods Tuesday after the toxic Donald Trump openly wished him well. While not ultimately fatal, it was still devastating news for the world-renowned golfer. “He’s lucky to be alive,” Anderson Cooper said after the news broke. “Trump was clearly trying to destroy him by making people believe they…