WASHINGTON, DC–Despite White House staff begging for him not to, Joe Biden insisted on serenading all nine of his loyal supporters with the National Anthem. However, his staff’s worst fears were realized when he promptly began singing ‘Baby Shark.’ “We knew whatever came out of his mouth wouldn’t come close to the National Anthem,” an…
Category: Pop Culture
‘How I Launched My Political Career: The Kamala Harris Story’ To Air At 1 AM On Cinemax
LOS ANGELES, CA–Due to the graphic nature of how Kamala Harris climbed the ranks of the political world, every news network was forced to pass on airing her documentary. NBC was all set to air the filth-filled program until the FCC determined that showing an 86-year-old, Willie Brown degrade himself on camera would be too…
Joe Biden Looking Forward To Plagiarizing Bill Pullman’s Speech From Independence Day
WASHINGTON, DC— As we all know, it’s been decided that fictional president Joe Biden will be forbidden from making any public appearance for the rest of his life. However, the White House will begrudgingly allow the old man to conduct his most cherished tradition. Stealing Bill Pullman’s famous speech from the 1996 film Independence Day.…
Joe Biden Lands Huge Endorsement From Creed Bratton
NEW YORK, NY — Because she’s known for her nasty and rude on-air demeanor, Dana Perino famously has a hard time finding guests for her afternoon Fox News show Listen Up Stupid, Dummies. So it was no surprise when her only guest on Thursday was Dunder Mifflin’s quality assurance manager, Creed Bratton. “Creed, you lived…
LGBTs Launch ‘The 2006 Project’ Citing America Really Began When Justin Brought Sexy Back
BROOKLYN, NY–A group of absolutely fabulous homosexuals have launched ‘The 2006 Project’, which asserts that the United States of America actually began shortly after Justin Timberlake’s 2006 hit single “I’m Bringing Sexy Back.” As expected, Republicans are furious about The 2006 Project and are calling Timberlake’s song ‘dangerous’ and ‘snappy.’ “Mr. Timberlake claims, without evidence, that…