Atlantic Records is absolutely regretting their decision to sign Jeb Bush to a $100 million contract to record a country music album. Like many in Washington around 2015, the record label believed the former Florida Governor had an excellent chance to nab the 2016 presidency. “Most Americans loved how Ronald Reagan was a former movie…
Category: Pop Culture
Attempting To Boost Ratings, CNN Has Nelly Sing “Hot In Here” During Climate Town Hall
Last week, during the ninth hour of CNN’s climate-themed town hall, the Democrats unleashed a secret weapon on the American people. When the program began dragging, Anderson Cooper asked the audience, “What do you guys think? Is it getting hot in heerrrrrrrrr?!” The confused and sleepy crowd sprung to life as sparks flew and loud…
Portland Zoo Installs Trigger Warning Sign On Elephant Enclosure
Because the elephant has long represented the Republican Party, the Portland Zoo has taken it upon themselves to warn visitors approaching the elephant exhibit. After installing a sign that reads: “WARNING: The animal in this enclosure has been linked to an extremist hate group. Proceed with caution.” the zoo was forced to issue a statement…
ABC’s 'Dancing With The Stars' Dumps Ultra-Political Sean Spicer, Replaces With George Soros
On Wednesday morning, ABC announced the addition of former White House press secretary, Sean Spicer, to next season’s “Dancing with the Stars” cast. On Friday morning, the roving pitchfork-wielding gang of protestors outside ABC headquarters had the network executives withdrawing the invitation to Spicer. “We decided that Sean Spicer is just a little too political…
Trump Insists On Having Shark Tank Theme Song Follow Him Around White House
Most Presidential executive orders are met with opposition and Donald Trump’s latest is no exception. On Tuesday the White House released a statement alerting the press that Donald Trump would no longer walk around without the Shark Tank theme song accompanying him. “You need a certain presence, I think,” Trump explained. “I heard Obama used…