Fictional President, Joe Biden gave coal miners a super helpful suggestion earlier this week. “Ya, know…all you guys with your dirty faces and your yucky hammers, listen up!” Biden yelled to a group of angry, New Hampshire coal miners. “When I look at this bunch of 50 and 60-year-old men, I see the future wave…
Category: Media & Tech
Nancy Pelosi Reminds Press That if Any of Them Call Her Unstable She’ll ‘Rip Their Face Off’
On Thursday Speaker Nancy Pelosi reminded the press why none of them should ever call her “unstable.” “Because I’ll literally rip YOUR FACE OFF!” Pelosi screamed as she leapt forward to strangle reporter James Rosen. Thankfully her aids caught her mid-air before she could destroy him. “You see?!” Rosen yelled back. “This is what we’re…
Republicans Dominate Impeachment Hearings After Yielding All Their Time to The Rush Limbaugh Show
On Wednesday, House Republicans dominated the impeachment hearings after making the decision to pool all their time together and yield it to America’s Anchorman. When it came time for Republicans to cross-examine, Devin Nunes quickly reached under his seat, grabbed a portable radio and set it on the table. “Yes. We’re right on time,” he…
Despite Slow News Week, Brian Stelter Uncovers Bombshell Punctuation Errors In Trump Tweet
Your average journalist would have been discouraged by such a slow news week. But CNN’s Brian Stelter is not your average journalist. As President Trump was all riled up about something to do with ABC and NBC, Stelter was doing some deep investigative work. “What I discovered on Twitter was pretty extraordinary,” the CNN star…
ABC News Clarifies: “We Didn’t Kill The Jeffrey Epstein Story, It Committed Suicide.”
After Project Veritas exposed ABC News’ decision to kill a bombshell story on Jeffrey Epstein, the network is now defending themselves. “At the time, Hillary Clinton had not signed off on the reporting and informed ABC News it did not meet her standard to air,” the Disney-owned news unit began in their statement. “When this…