OHIO – The White House has expressed its mild disapproval of Pete Buttigieg for starting dozens of massive explosions after the little perv learned the carnage inevitably attracts swarms of firemen.
Pete’s latest sabotage happened in Miami, Ohio—a place the mayor assumed would have ‘the sexiest firemen in the Midwest.’
“Oh, for heaven’s sake! We’ve got another chemical fire happening in about twenty minutes!” Buttigieg yelled to a firehouse on his way to the train tracks. “CNN says this fire probably won’t be as hot, so you don’t need to bring shirts.”
Wearing a gas mask and sitting in a flamingo-themed lawn chair, Buttigieg gleefully watched the firemen try to extinguish the giant mushroom cloud of chemicals.
“We’ve got a real flamer here!” a panicked firefighter yelled as he worked.
“Oh, I thought you’d never notice lil’ old me!” Pete shouted over the sound of people dying.
Update: Lindsey Graham believes all South Carolinian firemen should be on standby for a massive explosion near his house sometime next week.
Give Us Story Ideas
