Keep an eye on your mailbox for your 2021 White Privilege benefits catalog.
Sources tell The Glorious American white people can expect another carefree year of paradise, free from stress and adverse consequences of any kind.
The 2021 benefits catalog details how most major hotels and rental car companies will now offer free upgrades. For the 189th year, there will be no requirement to pay taxes and all healthcare will be covered at no expense. Also, life expectancy for white people was generously raised to 112.
“They just keep adding great things,” notable white person, Bill O’Reilly said. “I remember when all we got was a complimentary 845 credit score and all the land west of the Mississippi. But now that we each get sweater vests and a tax-payer funded subscription to The Daily Wire. I think I speak for all white people when I say, I can’t wait to spend another year basking in an ocean of perks and advantages!”
The catalog also details an impressive partnership made with Chipotle restaurants. Beginning in 2021, all white people will be given free guacamole.
Reminder: As always, white people, let’s keep the catalog our little secret.
Give Us Story Ideas
