PINAL CO., AZ– Part of living in the modern, technologically sophisticated world is understanding that counting ballots takes longer in 2022 than it did in 1951. And sometimes, when entire counties forget to bring enough ballots, they pass out handy little “I Tried To Vote, But They Ran Out Of Ballots, And Someone Said They’d Call Me Later” stickers.
That’s just what they’re doing in Arizona these days.
“So we ran out of ballots, big deal. At least we’re not a threat to democracy like those radical extremists who baselessly claim we can’t run an election,” Election supervisor and gubernatorial hopeful Katie Hobbs said via Zoom while in Cancun with Hunter Biden.
As details emerge, Arizona election officials are admitting they thought all tabulations would happen “Barbara-Walters-Style,” a method referring to the 2020 elections where Democrats just unveiled the results on TV and arrest anyone who asks questions.
Update: In our new, digitally efficient system, the frustrated Arizonans who were told they could vote later will be contacted via carrier pigeon.
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