A source within Fox News is reporting that debate moderator, Chris Wallace is ‘ashamed’ and ‘mortified’ that he only asked Donald Trump to denounce white supremacists a dozen times.
“He’s been in his office crying all day,” Fox News’ Brit Hume said Wednesday. “We told him that asking Trump to denounce the group twelve times was plenty. In fact, we showed him footage of the eighty-one times Trump had previously denounced them. But still, he’s just devastated.”
The many interruptions involving Donald Trump has also sent Chris Wallace into a fit of depression. In particular, Joe Biden was interrupted by numerous announcements of President Trump winning Nobel Peace Prizes.
But as Wallace mourns his disastrous night, help may be on the way. Earlier today debate group, Commission Responsible for Arguing Presidents, or CRAP is close to making some big changes. Apparently, CRAP would like all ninety minutes to be filled with Trump being asked to denounce white supremacists.
“Obviously, we’ll have the President’s microphone disabled when he tries to respond,” a member of CRAP informed.
Wearing only a robe and holding a bottle of whiskey, Chris Wallace finally left his office and issued an apology to his Fox News co-workers.
“I let you all down. Especially you, Shep Smith,” he said pointing to Brian Kilmeade. “Americans so rarely get to hear about Trump and his racism and I only asked him twelve times? What do I do now that I’ve shamed myself? My Fox News Sunday viewers only know me as a macho tough guy.”
Sean Hannity then comforted Wallace by explaining that the debate wasn’t ruined by the lack of white supremacy questions. “No. It sucked because you’re an unprofessional hack,” Hannity reassured.