So far House Democrats have spent over $3 million of taxpayers’ money on the impeachment of Donald Trump. But all that money got them was a sizable lead for the President against all his Democratic challengers.
Because of this, Nancy Pelosi is angry and demanding Trump and his reelection campaign list that $3 million as an official campaign expense.
“Not only was this a clear bait-and-switch by the President, this was another one of his shrewd and cunning tricks where he gets a massive advantage on OUR dime!” Pelosi yelled to the press. “He WILL PAY FOR MY STUPID, POLITICAL BLUNDERS!” she screamed, sending her dentures flying into the press, who then scrambled to grab them as if it were a bouquet toss.
Trump warned the Federal Election Commission to not enforce Pelosi’s demands with the following tweet:
“Hey FEC, ignore Nervous Nancy! She wants me to pay for her stupid impeachment—FORGET IT! But I will say, Thank you so much for it! My numbers have never been better!
Update: The Supreme Court has ruled that the price of his own impeachment is not a campaign expense. However, the court felt so sorry for Nancy Pelosi that they asked if Trump would “go halfsies”.
The President agreed and yelled, “Now I quite literally own the libs!” as he boarded Marine One.