Currently, illegal immigrants are flooding into America like a Best Buy on Black Friday. And at the same time, drugs and human trafficking have reached Hunter Biden levels.
But if you think it’s all bad news, you haven’t been at an airport lately because CNN has revealed Joe Biden’s intentions have reached a new high watermark of goodness.
“I don’t think we’ve ever seen intentions this good,” Brian Stelter said in amazement. “Despite every facet of his presidency in shambles, his heart wants so many good things to happen.”
To show the true lengths of Biden’s good intentions, CNN has retrofitted the old color-coded terrorism threat charts.
“Oh, my goodness. Would you look at this? Today, gas prices are up to $12 per gallon, but his good intentions are ‘seriously elevated.’” He said pointing to the chart.
Stelter’s reporting was interrupted by Don Lemon who noticed the chart and screamed, “Al-Qaeda! They’re back? Do you know what they do to gay people? Run!”
“No, Don! This isn’t a terror chart anymore. Remember Obama ended terrorism with the pallets of cash?” Brian hollered back.
Update: CNN has asked to pay their $1.1 billion settlement owed to Nick Sandman in ‘good intentions,’ but the judge keeps insisting it be paid in cold hard cash.
Give Us Story Ideas