Georgia may have gone too far. In a move clearly inspired by Jim Crow and Mr. Potato Head, the state has voted to limit suitcases hidden under tables.
“I believe elections should be clean and free of fraud when it’s my [explicit] on the ballot,” Georgia Governor Brian Kemp said.
Stacey Abrams is furious with the news. “Then why even have an election? As an experienced candidate, I know that it’s the little things that make the difference. And those five little suitcases proved to be really important for uh… democracy.”
Once the news was out, so were all the major corporations. “Let’s see how the people of Georgia like it when we leave and stop telling them all about political stuff,” the Coke CEO said. “If elected officials keep acting like this, soon it will be just small businesses left. Can you imagine?”
CNN’s Brian Seltzer hammered the new bill, calling it, ‘the most racist thing since our last segment.’ Thankfully for the Georgia lawmakers, the next segment was on sea turtles, which overtook everything as the ‘most racist.’