As a reward for exclusively voting in Liberal Democrats, 45% of African Americans will be kindly asked to get the hell out of all New York restaurants at gunpoint.
“We just need to keep our restaurants and workplaces safe, ya know?” Mayor Bill de Blasio said regarding his new segregation bill titled ‘Key to NYC’. “Some people have the key to free themselves, and some don’t. So many wealthy Democrats are quietly telling me this is the best law they’ve seen in like 200 years.”
New York blacks are taking the disappointing news in stride and plan to use their free time at the gym or local movie theater.
“Not so fast,” Bill de Blasio told them with his famous, heartwarming grin. “Pretty much everything indoors is off-limits to your kind. Kapeesh?”
Despite the New York Mayor having a reputation for being a weed-smoking, big-bird-looking doofus, his office is surprisingly prepared for the law. The COVID Health And Inspection Non-compliance System (or C.H.A.I.N.S.) is in place for any rule breakers.
“Yep, we’ll just throw them in C.H.A.I.N.S.,” Bill de Blasio said. “And if you keep trying to escape these rules, we’ll just put y’all back in C.H.A.I.N.S..”
Update: 100% of African Americans will be forced to vote in New York regardless of vaccination status, gender, age, or pulse.
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