Governor Whitmer Deems Sherwin-Williams An Essential Business Because They're ‘Trying To Cover The Earth In Blood’

Governor Whitmer Deems Sherwin-Williams An Essential Business Because They're ‘Trying To Cover The Earth In Blood’

Governor Gretchen Whitmer may have made another slip-up when she claimed the paint company, Sherwin-Williams would now be an essential business because ‘they’re trying to cover the earth in blood.’

The governor made the statement on her new Saturday TV program, “You Think I Won’t Ban That?!” (Which are mandatory viewings for Michigan residents and all Canadians). 

Around the two hour mark Whitmer delivered the controversial statement:

“And now, slaves!  For those of you who claim I’m some kind of slave master, I’m actually going to open a very special business,” she explained.  “Our friends at the Sherwin-Williams paint company will now be considered essential because of their progressive and deliciously violent mission statement.”

When her henchmen looked confused she felt the need to clarify. 

“You know—the blood!” she angrily said.  “Those guys’ whole thing is to cause enough bloodshed that it eventually covers the earth.  I’m no fan of business, but if you must have one, I can at least respect that goal.  I’m taking notes!” she said trying to add a lighthearted touch.    

Shortly after her comments aired, the Sherwin-Williams company immediately released a statement saying they are horrified at the Governor’s assertion.  “The idea that we would try to cover the earth ‘with blood’ is ridiculous.  We’re not Valspar.”

The bad press for Sherwin-Williams could not have come at a worse time as the brand is still trying to recover from a disastrous marketing campaign they attempted last summer.