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Staying power? Joe Biden Soils Himself, Falls Off Stage, Gains 9 More Points Over Democratic Field

Staying power? Joe Biden Soils Himself, Falls Off Stage, Gains 9 More Points Over Democratic Field

Joe Biden has spent the last 49 years in politics and the man has picked up all the tricks along the way. During an afternoon rally in Iowa, Biden claimed he invented the Ziploc bag, soiled himself and fell off the stage.

It seems as soon as Democrats learned of Biden’s accomplishments, his poll numbers shot up. The former VP now holds a 9-point lead over the other candidates.

“Pure political savviness,” David Axelrod told The Glorious American. “Biden seems to be the only candidate who knew the voters wanted to see him tumble off that stage flailing his arms while screaming.”

Thankfully, Biden was not hurt and his staff was able to change his pants in minutes. He salvaged much of his speech, which mostly was centered around the time he and Barack wrestled JFK’s killer to the ground.

When asked for comment, Biden continued to charm the nation by saying, “Where am I?” and “Why won’t they let me go home?”