WASHINGTON, DC — In what’s considered their best hire yet, the Kamala Harris campaign has nabbed the guy famous for yanking all the wires out during Forest Gump’s Washington Monument speech.
“This guy was hired to get fistfuls of wires and go-to-town. Every time Kamala speaks,” an official said. “We’re willing to pay him anything.”
Sure enough, the new hire came in handy when Harris immediately began going off teleprompter during a recent campaign stop. Montel Williams’ girlfriend wandered into the following sentence:
“…and democracy is the coconut juice of our community that represents the duality of our shared vasectomies which penetrates the school bus–“
But no one ever heard what happened to that poor school bus because the audio was killed as sparks flew around the soundboard.
Several minutes later, once Harris’ staff believed she had removed some of the more piercing cackling out of her system, they allowed all the wires to be reconnected.
“And that’s all I have to say about that,” the audience clearly heard as Kamala awkwardly walked away.
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