LOS ANGELES, CA — Colin Kaepernick just can’t catch a break. The esteemed civil rights leader was dealt another crippling blow this week when his private jet arrived with cloth interior. Cloth. Not Italian leather. Despite our country spending a century striving to eradicate racism, this latest injustice has the nation starting from square one.…
Category: Sports News
LeBron James To Miss 2-3 Weeks Due To White Supremacy
LOS ANGELES, CA– Some rough news for Laker fans as the team has announced LeBron James will miss 2 to 3 weeks due to white supremacy. “I just can’t play basketball in this racist climate. No one can, and that’s a fact,” James yelled to all his teammates who were playing basketball. “White supremacists…
Wuhan Institute of Virology To Host NBA All-Star Game
WUHAN, CHINA—As long as you’re not a safety inspector, you are invited to attend the NBA’s 2023 All-Star game at the Wuhan Institute of Virology! To make room for the court, the lab demolished the little-used cancer research wing, and attendees will be required to show proof that all their diseases originated from inside the building. …
Tucker Carlson To Perform Super Bowl Half-Time Show
NEW YORK, NY–After mistakenly thinking all football fans were torch-wielding Black Lives Matter looters, the NFL seems to be correcting course by having Tucker Carlson perform this year’s Super Bowl halftime show. The decision was made after the NFL saw the NBA’s last marquee game lose in the ratings to Animal Planet’s House Cat vs. Laser…
Sports On Hold Until LeBron James Teaches Police How To Do Their Job
LOS ANGELES, CA–It looks like all American sports are on hold until LeBron James can personally make the rounds to each precinct and tell the cops how to do their job. “I’m excellent at basketball so my friends tell me that means I’m excellent at law enforcement too,” LeBron explained to the LAPD. “And irregardless…