Trying to be the wokest owner in professional sports, Mark Cuban updated the Dallas Mavericks court to feature segregated hoops. “There we go!” a pleased Cuban said with his hands on his hips. “One basket for the horrible white people and one for the magnificent black athletes. This way, it’s not racist because the African…
Category: Sports News
For Trump Support, Tom Brady’s Bucs To Begin Super Bowl With 15-Yard Penalty
Tom Brady’s unwillingness to mock and whine about the 45th President has formally been recognized as Trump support. For this, he must pay. The NFL made the brave decision after corporate sponsors threatened not to give them some of their money. “Tom really crossed the line this time,” Rodger Goodell said. “Maybe he’s friends with…
Biden Team Brings In Transgender Athlete To Dominate Press
After all the talk of transgender athletes dominating everything, the Biden administration decided it was time to leverage that to their advantage. So on Tuesday, Tiffany ‘The Tank’ Rooney was brought in to dominate the press, and she didn’t disappoint. “Tiffany, about the booster shots, what percentage of the pie will go to people over…
Going Back To Car To Get Mask Added To Olympic Games
The International Olympic Committee has agreed to add the rapidly growing sport of going-back-to-your-car-to-get-your-mask to the 2024 Olympic games. The sport will require participants to park a sedan thirty-five meters from a department store, mutter the F-word just before reaching for the door handle then relay back to their vehicle to retrieve their face mask. …
Democratic National Convention Comes To An End
The DNC’s new format of playing basketball in between political speeches came to a conclusion Sunday night and many are calling it a success. Before they left the multi-month convention, the activists (dressed as athletes) gathered all the ESPN and TNT employees at center court. Everyone put their hands together as they did one last…