WILMINGTON, DE – Maintaining a good work-life balance is essential. And credit where credit’s due, Joe Biden is ending his fictional Presidency, having struck an admirable equilibrium between the two. “I’ve practiced medicine for over thirty years, and I can barely detect a life,” a White House doctor said of Biden. “And when you juxtapose…

Los Angeles, CA — We now have an answer about what caused the ferocious blaze that’s molesting everyone in Southern California harder than Joe Biden at the bottom of a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit. “Yep, just as we thought. Here they are. Waist size 31, ultra slim fit.” A Burbank fire chief yelled, holding…

TEXAS – President Donald Trump has made an astonishing discovery while visiting a manufacturing plant near Corpus Christi, TX. “Hold it.  I need a Diet Coke and an old-timey telescope.  Right away!” Trump abruptly yelled into the microphone.  “I think I see what some would say…an opportunity.” After a few seconds of holding the telescope…