WASHINGTON, D.C.–A little-known and devastatingly handsome Biden staffer has given the administration a brilliant solution for their overcrowded migrant situation. “You see this big, beautiful area down here?  A lotta people are saying this is the perfect place for Mexicans,” he said pointing to the country just below the United States of America.  “Call up…

WASHINGTON, DC – If you listen to the media, you would think Justice Clarence Thomas spent all of last week dismantling Row Vs. Wade. However, a new report shows that only 3% of Thomas’ week was spent protecting infants. “A whopping 97% of his week was classified as ‘other services.’ These activities are things like…

WASHINGTON, DC – The reaction from large, ugly women about the overturning of Roe Vs. Wade has caused the Supreme Court to issue a rare follow-up statement: “While the Court understands our ruling will cause anger from some Americans, we hereby forbid enormous, disgusting, ugly women from throwing a fit. Numerous media outlets have shown…

MINNEAPOLIS, MN–After a conservative was discovered to be onboard, a Delta flight headed for Seattle was forced to make an emergency landing. “I was serving drinks when I found out,” a shaken-up flight attendant said. “I’ve never been that scared in my life, and I’ve been in a plane crash before.  Anyway, I was making sure…

ANAHEIM, CA, –Since Disneyland reopened, the theme park staff has noticed a bewildering pattern of liberal democrats lining up for defective rides. “Ok, folks, this is the fourth time we’ve been over this,” a Disneyland employee yelled to the flock.  “You can clearly see the Matterhorn doesn’t work, right?  Aren’t you all curious why nothing…