Hello, it’s me/zi/zoy Libby McTardo again, and I’m literally shaking right now. Why? Because after my last op-ed, a bunch of you tried to kill me by making fun of me. And if you think I’m exaggerating then you’re a rapist. Anywho, I’m here to ask perhaps the most important question of our time: How Can You Call…
Category: Featured
Feminist Sprinter Refuses To Take Baton On The Grounds It Looks Like A Penis
Claiming it ‘looked like a penis’, feminist track star, Ebony Jackson refused to grab the baton from her teammate during Wednesday’s 400-meter relay race. The athlete’s brave stand sent the Olympic event into a tizzy as fellow team USA participants hopped around Ebony, begging her to take it and finish the race. “No! I’m not…
Aspiring Olympian Prepares For 2024 Games By Quitting Game Of Monopoly
Ten-year-old Ava Larson put in a solid day of Olympic training Wednesday after abruptly quitting a game of Monopoly to focus on her mental health. Ava, who hopes to compete as a gymnast in the 2024 games, stormed off after her stupid brother took the top hat and then bought all the railroads. She spoke…
Media: Don Jr. In Hot Water For Hunter Biden's N-Word Rant
Don Jr. really stepped in it this time. Multiple outlets are reporting how the fictional President’s son said the n-word and now the actual President’s son must pay. “When I read the transcript of what Hunter said, n-word after n-word, I just thought, how could Don Jr. do this? Has he no shame?” said Joe Scarborough holding…
Nation Begs Biden To Stop Awarding Young Girls With ‘Looks Like She’s 19-Years-Old’ Medals
Joe Biden is facing political pressure to stop spotting little girls in crowds and awarding them with his custom “Looks Like She’s 19-Years-Old’ medals. The latest incident occurred on Monday when Biden found a 10-year-old and awkwardly broke from his prepared remarks. “So Cornpop and I decided to ride home. We had done our job and our hoods were…