Kamala Harris Flown To Moscow To Tell Putin ‘Ukraine Is A Country In Europe’

Kamala Harris Flown To Moscow To Tell Putin ‘Ukraine Is A Country In Europe’

MOSCOW, RU– On Wednesday Kamala Harris was flown to Moscow to explain the finer points of international conflict to Vladimir Putin.

“Ok, Pu-Pu. Are you paying attention, honey child?” Harris began her talk with Vladimir. “Ukraine is a COUNTRY in a place called EUROPE. Do you know what a country is? Well, no one really knows for sure. But I believe they come about when two bigger countries love each other very much. They… exchange sexual favors until one of them advances in their career. Okey Dokey? Ok, bye-bye!” 

An annoyed Putin had plenty of time to think of his response as the next thirty-five seconds were filled with Kamala’s heartwarming cackle.

“Why send dis mental disabled woman to me?” Vladimir asked Harris’ staff. “She suffer serious head injury by California homeless man, correct?”

To save time, her staffers told him yes.

 Then Kamala grabbed a remote and pointed to a nearby TV. 

“Everyone shut up! I need to catch up on the news!” she said as a massive explosion was heard in central Ukraine.

An irritated Putin then handed her the correct remote and she turned on Peppa Pig.

“Wow. Things are really heating up in Great Britain, Harris nervously whispered. “Joe NEEDS to hear about what’s going on with these pigs right away.”

Update: As soon as Kalama called Biden, he immediately yelled, “If you’re calling about Peppa’s missing raincoat, I’m already on it. We invade at dawn.”

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