CHICAGO, IL– Teachers Unions all over the nation are now demanding the Biden administration supply them with surface-to-air missiles and javelins before they can safely return to the classroom.
“Everyone was giving us attention and asking us what we wanted for eighteen months, and now it’s Ukraine, Ukraine, Ukraine! Blah-blah-blah!” a disgusted Randi Weingarten said. “So I told Biden, ‘if anyone should get surface-to-air missiles, it should be us.’”
Weingarten and teachers everywhere were already furious that funds were even available.
“So the federal government can just digitally print any amount of money, and they weren’t doing that for us all these years?” a local teacher wrote on Facebook while striking in Cabo. “Biden should just go to the federal reserve and print us what we deserve. I’ve taught geography and math for almost six years. That’s over a dozen years of teaching young minds. And we’re giving money to a nation that doesn’t even exist?”
Update: After criticism, Weingarten clarified that teachers would only use the weaponry on kids wearing MAGA hats and maskless children.
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