It should be quite the fiesta at the Biden inauguration as over 5,000 Hondurans confirm they’ll be in attendance. Similar to the desperation most voters felt on election day, a large stampede of long-time Biden supporters aren’t even stopping to eat or sleep as they travel on foot to Washington DC.
“This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. This is the most popular man, maybe ever,” an unemployed Shep Smith said to his cat. “These Hondurans see in Joe Biden what I see. Eyes of wisdom and brilliance. He’s brighter than me, I can tell you that much.”
As the group travels north, disturbing footage has surfaced of guards pushing them back and thwarting their journey. CNN is reporting that these men have been sent by Donald Trump to make sure Biden’s inauguration crowd size does not exceed his own.
Critics have observed that the massive cluster of non-mask-wearing party guests would be in violation of Dr. Fauci’s COVID guidelines.
“Not at all,” Fauci said. “This virus is now showing to be only dangerous to small business owners and church-goers exclusively. Science says COVID won’t have any interest in this group.”
Update: As a thank you, the Biden administration has announced the Hondurans will be allowed to stay. They’ll be eligible to take any job they’d like and they’ll be receiving super-sized stimulus checks.