Young Democrats Still Upset Tide Pods Were Not Served at Thanksgiving Dinner

Young Democrats Still Upset Tide Pods Were Not Served at Thanksgiving Dinner

GLENDALE, AZ– Several days after Thanksgiving feast, America’s young Democrats are still disappointed that Tide Pods were not on the menu.

“We were bracing for uncomfortable political talk, but I wasn’t expecting to fight about serving deadly laundry detergent,” the mother of 22-year-old Dylan Montgomery commented. “He just kept screaming he wanted kale chips, Tide Pods, and my log-in for HBOMax. He was so hysterical we called the cops.”

“Look at it! It’s purple! That means it tastes like grape, probably!” Dylan shouted when the police arrived to detain him.

“We’re probably the smartest generation since the ice age, and we keep getting short-changed,” Dylan later told the judge. “First, we’re not allowed to give our college debt away, and now we’re deprived of our favorite foods for the holidays, too?!”

Dylan went on to imagine a day when everything was fair within America.

“Is it so much to ask for a world where Beto O’Rourke is President and citizens can finally pour thick, heaping ladles of Tide Pod sauce over their mashed potatoes? F—!” he yelled before sprinting to his room and slamming the door.


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