After seeing 0.2% of votes, the crew over at Fox News was able to clock out early. Four minutes after the Georgia Senate polls opened, the highly brilliant and capable FNC decision desk made the call.
“Folks, we’ve just seen an avalanche of data,” Bill Hemmer informed. “My sister’s old roommate lives in Atlanta and I heard she voted for both Democrats. So we feel very confident in calling it. We’ve seen enough!”
Despite the criticism, Fox maintains that only “delusional conspiracy theorists” believe Republicans could overcome the deficit.
“With only 99.8% of votes remaining, we’re looking at a mathematical impossibility,” Bret Baier told both Fox viewers. “The most important thing now is, Republicans should get out of line and go home.”
When pressed for the reasoning, Martha MacCallum pointed to her script. “These are sent to us and we’re supposed to memorize our lines,” she explained. “After what happened in 2016, corporate news just felt we can all do without surprises, ya know?”
Update: Fox News has just announced Democrats have also won 2022’s DC and Puerto Rico Senate races.
Give Us Story Ideas
