WASHINGTON, D.C — The House approved a $41 zillion aid package for Ukraine early Monday. The Senate and Joe Biden quickly approved the bill. The bill now heads to the Easter Bunny’s desk to be signed into law.
A muffled, “Now, let me see what we got here,” was heard from the all-powerful Easter Bunny as he held the bill up towards an eye hole. “Seeing as I’m calling the shots around here, I must carefully inspect this bill.”
Before Easter Sunday, it was widely understood that Susan Rice was running the Biden White House. But things changed after Biden was accidentally let off his leash again.
“I’m hopping around, waving to kids when I see Susan let Joe approach a bunch of families holding iPhones,” the bunny recounted. “I hear Biden say, ‘Alright, who here hasn’t combed my leg hair yet?’ and start to roll up a pant leg. I finally had it. I walked up to Joe, spun him around, waved my arms, and whispered, ‘I’m in charge now, numbnuts!”
Update: The Easter Bunny has vetoed the Ukraine package and reminded Congress he wants all legislation to arrive on his desk in a festive basket.
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