After assigning Kamala Harris to fix the shipping container crisis because of her extensive work with sea men, the problem has only gotten worse due to a massive misunderstanding.
So yet again, Donald Trump stepped in to save the day. This time, the stable genius managed to get the global supply chain back on track with one phone call.
“Hey Sleepy, just wanted to tell you that me and the whole Q gang–or whatever the hell you believe in, really approve of your decision to keep those shipping containers waiting in the ocean,” Trump told Biden on the call. “As you know, over 90% of that cargo is Chocolate Chocolate Chip ice cream. We don’t need those delicious frozen treats. Wait. Hold on. Alex Jones is texting me… he said, “LET IT MELT!”
Upon hearing this, Biden screamed the F word (and for some reason the N-word) and demanded all ships be rerouted to the ports near DC.
Within moments, Biden was addressing the nation using his super loud whisper-yell that every American loves so much.
“IT’S NOT HARD, FOLKS. I WANT EVERY AMERICAN BACK TO WORK TO GET THAT ICE CREAM OFF THE BOATS AND IN MY BOWL. OR I WILL BUILD BACK BEEF BREAKFAST FROM HERE TO KINGDOM COME!”
As usual, no one understood what he was talking about, but his quivering hand over the red nuclear button convinced all Americans to return to work and the boats were unloaded within fifteen minutes.
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