Everyone loves a good life hack. And Travis Fields has given us a real doozy for the next time you fly.
For months now, the young Portland sales rep has mastered a clever trick to avoid the slow and cumbersome process of exiting a plane. By simply taking off his mask upon touchdown, Travis is immediately thrown off the aircraft before all other passengers.
“The second I feel those wheels hit the ground I rip that baby off and throw it into the aisle like a football coach challenging a play,” Travis said grinning ear-to-ear. “They’re very violent and rough getting me off the plane, but I save myself those seventeen minutes of standing hunched over like an idiot. I love it. Sometimes they even demand someone quickly fetch my luggage. They yell things like, ‘take your stupid bags and go home right now! They reek of anti-science!’”
Many airlines have verified Travis’ claims.
“Oh yeah. When I saw Travis’ mouth and nose hanging out like a barbarian, the whole crew began tackling him, punching him, and biting him,” a flight attendant confirmed. “Because safety is our number one priority, we felt it necessary to physically harm people who don’t mask up.”
Update: Because Travis also drives without a mask; he routinely makes it home from the airport in less than ten minutes as all Portland motorists panic and pull off to the shoulder to let him pass.
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