BUFFALO, NY — In a beautiful segment featured on Fox News, 43-year-old Chris Johnson chose to drop the ‘Chris’ and identify as Christine. But the ‘Johnson’ isn’t dropping off so easily.
“I’m furious and I’m suing for willful trespassing,” Christine said in a deep aggressive voice while pounding a table. “I declared myself a woman over seven months ago and this thing won’t pack up his balls and hit the road. Just look at him. So smug!”
On Wednesday, the judge referred to the case as ‘a classic inerection’ and said the lawsuit will move forward.
“I will allow this. In the meantime, I have ordered a team of biologists to work overtime to determine why this penis didn’t vacate the premise once it learned of the new pronouns. It defied physics and New York law,” The judge commented. “It’s not too much to ask. When Will Smith married Jada, his penis left almost immediately.
Update: Christine’s penis made a solid ‘squatters’ rights’ case in court but that was after he angered the judge by not rising when he entered the courtroom.
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