BATTLE CREEK, MI — The leftist mob that now controls America’s every move has demanded Pringles ditch their iconic mustached man logo and replace it with Al Sharpton.
Referring to him as the beady-eyed, smug “white-Italian,” several angry 22-year-olds informed the Pringles company that they had one hour to make the change, or they would peacefully protest (burn down their building). Furthermore, they accused the mustached man of owning slaves. “And this Italian monster didn’t keep his slaves in the fields!” a protestor shouted into a bullhorn. “He kept them in a huge tube! Each man stacked on top of the next!”
“What were we supposed to do?” The CEO asked. “There were like three people tweeting their demands, and they told me they were speaking for every single snack-food consumer in the nation.”
Sharpton was indignant upon hearing the news. “It’s about time! This new logo, while far more handsome, just proves Pringles has been a racist company the whole time! And don’t get me started on that name, ‘Pringles.’ Do you even know what a Pring is? I do. It’s Italian for [explicit]!”
After meeting all of their demands, the mob became so disgusted with the potato chip company’s weakness; they decided to burn down their building anyway.
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