Mayor Pete Buttigieg ended his gig as Secretary of Transportation Friday, citing the need to spend more time with this family. After he explained this to his disappointed supporters, someone yelled, “We understand, Pete! I’m sure you miss that newborn baby of yours!”
But oddly, Buttigieg shot back, “What? Who? No. That baby is out of style. I miss my real family. Gabriel and Doctor Poof.”
“Are… those your parents?” a supporter nervously asked.
“No, silly! My Furby, Gabriel, and limited edition troll, Doctor Poof. I swear you middle-class peasants know nothing about the finer things,” an irritated Buttigieg snapped. “When I refer to my family, it’s always been Gabriel and Doctor Poof!”
“So wait a minute,” the supporter replied. “All these months running for president when you kept saying you wanted to restore America so your family could have a better life… you were talking about your…toys?”
At that time, things took a sour turn as little Pete charged the persistent audience member while making a hissing sound and swiping his hands like cat claws. But members of his staff held Buttigieg back as he screamed, “How dare you insult my family?! HOW DARE YOU?!”
Update: Pete Buttigieg has filed a hate crime against that nasty and hate-filled man.
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