CHARLESTON, SC– While speaking at a South Carolina fundraiser, Pete Buttigieg rattled off a list of things America needs. But he finished his plea with a rather curious item.
“This nation needs affordable housing! And what this nation needs is a living wage!” the mayor said, each idea getting thunderous applause. “And what this nation needs, now more than ever, is a MIKE PENCE WALL CALENDAR!”
The audience became immediately quiet, and someone loudly yelled, “A WHAT?!”
“I said a living wage,” Buttigieg said in a panic before realizing there was no hope in walking-back his comment.
“Yes, I said it. I believe America needs a Mike Pence calendar because… umm. We need a…reminder on the wall of how close 2024 is! So we can make sure cute little patootie never regains power again! Am I right?!”
A smattering of applause could be heard before Buttigieg elaborated on his calendar idea.
“Ok. So I’m thinking August should be shirtless cowboy theme—can we agree on that? And November should probably be him dressed like an Indian.”
Upon hearing this, a large percentage of the crowd began filing out of the building.
“Oh, for goodness sake!” Buttigieg yelled. “Native American—whatever!”
Give Us Story Ideas
