Nutrisystem’s new meal plan for babies will be available in May, but the outrage is already here.
“This is ridiculous,” said concerned mother Kelley Mills from Medford, OR. “I particularly despise the slogan ‘Because no one likes a chunky baby.’ That’s just horrible!”
Dietary experts and pediatricians are warning against Nutrisystem For Babies because the meal plan aims to eliminate “baby fat,” a key building block for a growing baby.
“You’re darn right we’re attacking that fat,” snapped Nutrisystem CEO Dawn Zier. “That’s what we do! And do you have any idea how fattening breast milk is? If we sell enough units, our nation will be filled with thin, attractive babies with defined jaw lines.”
The Glorious American has learned that the 10-week Nutrisystem For Babies pack features pre-planned meals mostly consisting of celery, broccoli and unsalted almonds. According to the literature, a small amount of skim milk is allowed providing the baby is following the daily exercise plan.