Yikes. It looks like, for the second time this month, another potato company is in big trouble.
On Friday morning, over fifty grocery store chains have canceled their contract with Lay’s Potato Chips after a horrific racial slur was spotted on one of their bags. It is a long-standing rule that the Glorious American not write the word itself because we are a classy publication and we got in huge trouble last time. Nevertheless, the Lay’s brand, apparently desperate to release their deep-seated racism somewhere, hid the dreadful word after the phrase “Salt & Vi.”
“They were trying to be funny. They thought it would be a riot. And in a very real way, it’s a riot they shall have,” CNN’s Don Lemon said. “We shall take the high road on this one—I mean the high way. Their headquarters are in Casa Grande, Arizona. We’ll take the highway over there and burn it to the ground.”
Biden’s FBI opened an investigation that found the Lay’s company guilty of systematic racism in under three minutes.
“The real work will be about their name. ‘Lays?’ Sounds like an admission of some type of sexual assault,” an FBI agent said. “We don’t believe it was consensual.”
Update: The Federal government has forced Lay’s company to exclusively make white crackers. Also, they have changed their name to ‘Abstainer’s’