Kamala Harris Threatens To Quit Race If Not Treated Better

Kamala Harris Threatens To Quit Race If Not Treated Better

WASHINGTON, DC – There are murmurs coming from the Kamala camp, and they are getting rather loud.  Here’s what they’re saying:

Willie Brown’s girlfriend worked too hard to be treated this way.  And if Americans aren’t careful, she’ll quit.

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From the beginning of this administration, Harris was given impossible tasks: stop cackling into the faces of military widows and foreign dignitaries, stop calling trips to Taco Bell ‘visiting the border,’ and stop acting in ways that make Joe Biden look too brilliant by comparison. It was a political hit job from the start. 

No.  Montel Williams’ side chick doesn’t deserve this treatment, and she’s finally speaking out. 

“I will not stand for this.  Lay, maybe—but not stand,” Harris said.  “To those who think they can abuse me, just remember this: In 1981, I once sentenced a special needs child to 60 years in prison for possession of a bootlegged Snoop Dogg CD.  So yeah, I’m pretty tough. [four minutes of cackling].”

Referring to herself as “America’s Princess Diana with a booty,” Kamala officially floated the idea of quitting.  But the boos were too loud for her message to be heard.  Her family was so hostile that she was advised not to make a public appearance.  Ever again.   

Update:  The following message from a staffer was released to help lift Harris’ image:

“I work for the Vice President. If I am good, I am given outdoor time. I can still hear her when I close my eyes at night. Working for her has caused me to appreciate the little things, most notably the sweet release of death. Also, we’re forced to use a litter box. Please help.”    


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