WASHINGTON, DC — Kamala Harris won’t stand for rude and lazy stereotypes. On Wednesday, she stood up for the interracial, non-gendered community in a big way.
“Listen to me. Everyone, stop covering your ears for a second. I’ve got most of the cackling out of my system. I want you to hear what I’m about to say,” Harris told the press. “Assuming someone’s race or gender is so bad, it’s like a bunch of 9/11s. Or even worse, a Dr. Seuss book. Ya know what? I shouldn’t compare anything to Dr. Seuss. Too insensitive to the lives that were lost to his books.”
Then, after an explosive cackle, the Vice President looked deeply into the nearest camera and sternly said, “People who assume race and gender are probably white males.”
The press began to cheer with agreement, which only seemed to embolden Harris.
“And I’ll go a step further,” she yelled. “To whoever assumes anyone’s gender, in any way, you’re a son of a [explicit]!”
“Don’t like it?” she continued. “Well, you can take your sissy-girl ass home to cry to your white-trash mom!”
Update: Due to his promiscuity among the media members and White House staff, Hunter Biden has been appointed to assign all genders.
Give Us Story Ideas
