Don Jr. To Hold Book Signing In Portland, Oregon On Sep 17th

Don Jr. To Hold Book Signing In Portland, Oregon On Sep 17th

Don Jr.’s book tour will begin in none other than friendly Portland, Oregon. His new book, Spanking Antifa gives a how-to guide on approaching the lawless domestic terrorist group and smacking their butts in a humiliating fashion.

“I’ve never seen a book signing sell out this fast,” said the manager of the Barnes & Noble inside Lloyd Center. “These things usually get maybe 400 people. But the community wants to see Don Jr. so badly; we’ve had over 20,000 RSVPs. Plus the locals are encouraging him to bring his young kids because they’ll provide free babysitting for them.  Just unheard-of levels of hospitality.”

The upcoming arrival of the President’s son has given Portland’s local economy a boost too. Guns, knives, kerosene, torches, and even hand grenades are up 300% since the announcement.

“I told my publisher, I’m a Trump–I want to be where the energy is,” Don Jr. said. “They told me that of all the cities in America, Portland wanted me most. So I said, let-er-rip!”

Update: The city of Portland was thrilled to announce that they are unwilling to offer a police presence for the book signing event. City officials have reminded all citizens not to do anything violent unless they forget.

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