NEW YORK — Since so many people stopped listening to AOC’s voice, she shrewdly decided to print Democrat talking points on her hiney. It worked so well the Democrat National Committee embraced the innovative tactic and looked for more people to wear their slogans.
And, boy, did they hit the jackpot.
In less than a day, Hillary “The Billboard” Clinton was born.
“We can never say she’s useless again,” CNN’s Jake Tapper commented. “The amount of raw real estate we have to work with is astounding. Her left thigh alone lays out a comprehensive guide for implementing Cap-and-Trade. Don’t get me started on her ass. CNN can’t compete with that.”
Bill Clinton was supportive of his wife’s new role.
“AOC had a great idea. I must have read her backside forty or fifty times,” Bill said with a thousand-yard gaze. “Hey, what did it say again?”
Not to be outdone, Republicans have dressed up their sexiest member in an outfit showcasing GOP slogans. Lindsay Graham will be wearing a form-fitting garment that reads: ‘adorable deplorable.’
Update: Worried that Hillary’s size makes her too effective at communicating with voters, House GOP members are now arguing Hillary is no longer a platform but a publisher.
Give Us Story Ideas
