The Biden campaign has promised Joe will be a smart and independent leader. But that can’t happen if his handlers can’t make sure he doesn’t wander into trouble and hurt himself.
On Monday evening, just as the Republican National Convention was picking up steam, a confused Joe Biden meandered onto the stage. Before his handlers could catch him he clutched both sides of the podium and leaned into the microphone.
“Uhhhhh, Trump it is!” Biden said effectively endorsing the President. “And boy, we’re all sure having fun tonight, aren’t we Jill?” Joe asked an American flag. “I’ve been around and I know Trump is definitely going to heal this…you know, the thing.”
Just then Biden’s handlers scampered onto the stage to carry him off. “We must reelect Trump!” Joe said as his feet were making the running motion in the air.
CNN, who spent the night re-running Obama’s DNC speech, felt they needed to flip over to the RNC so they could call someone racist.
“And surprise, surprise. Look who we have here, another white guy at the podium,” Brian Stelter said not knowing it was Biden. “I’ll ask the panel, is there anything worse than an old, white male?”
“I’m not sure who that old fart is up there being carried off the stage, but I can guarantee it’s a stupid, old racist,” Don Lemon informed.
Update: Lemon’s statement, while unintentional, has nominated him for the Pulitzer Prize.