ATLANTA, GA — Last week’s company-wide diversity training may have backfired for beverage giant Coca-Cola after dozens of employees showed up for work on Thursday in full blackface.
What’s now being referred to as ‘blackface Thursday,’ Coke HR reps admit the controversial face painting resulted from being told to be ‘less white’ on the training presentation.
“You want less white– you got it!” yelled a frustrated dock worker. “Why was management screaming with horror when they saw us walk into the bottling plant this morning?”
“I’ve never seen that much blackface. It looked like a pack of Justin Trudeaus were infiltrating us,” one HR manager said. “We just started throwing cans at them.”
“What’s wrong now?” a baffled employee yelled while dodging cans. “I spent all morning in front of the mirror trying to be less white—just as instructed!”
Coke executives tackled one employee, pepper-sprayed him, and attempted to scrub his face for over ten minutes. This caused even more bad press when they learned he was an actual black employee.
A Coca-Cola spokesperson tried to distance the company from the controversial training by releasing the following statement:
“We would like to thank all the honkys, chads, and cracker asses for completing the training course. However, wearing blackface is a totally unacceptable act for a non-Democrat politician or non-celebrity. It is Coca-Cola’s goal to ensure employees of all colors are treated with respect and dignity. Except for the colors orange and white, of course.”
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