The few remaining villagers of the little-known tribe of MinnHeeHee [click] Sota of Botswana have started to grow worried in recent days. Their concern is that, no matter how many of their people they sacrifice to a local tyrannical crocodile, its hunger doesn’t seem to be satisfied.
The locals explain that this particular massive and bloodthirsty crocodile, which has been named Betsy, is not native to Botswana. “No, this one is from Portland,” a villager informed. “One day Betsy was making a huge fuss and hissing so loudly. We thought about taking her out to making some luggage, but we decided to feed her some of our people. We figured, this was such a huge concession from us, she will surely leave us alone after that.”
But that didn’t happen.
The very next day, Betsy was somehow even more angry and hungry. She threatened to tear the entire village apart and the leaders of MinnHeeHee [click] Sota explained how this would all be over with just a few more human sacrifices. Concerns have escalated after the crocodile still wasn’t appeased.
“Sure we’ve lost twelve people to Betsy and that’s sad,” the chief told his people. “But we’ve learned an important lesson; Betsy likes MinnHeeHee [click] Sota people! And to make a snappy reminder of that lesson, we can just shorten that to BLM!”
Update: The people of MinnHeeHee [click] Sota now believe they can prolong their inevitable consumption from the beast by giving Betsy control over their marketplace and a cable news show.
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