As Bill Clinton reveals more details about his affair, a new Quinnipiac poll shows Americans are a whopping 98% “in favor” of his infidelity. The highest its ever been. The poll was taken after the former President spoke about his affairs in the Hulu series titled: “Hillary: The Beast of Chappaqua.”
The poll is puzzling because in a similar survey taken with the same participants, 100% of them reported that affairs are immoral and wrong. So what is it about Bill Clinton’s affair that has the nation applauding it?
“We may never know,” ABC’s George Stephanopoulos told The Glorious American over the phone while visiting the Clinton’s in their New York home. “It’s just so odd because—AHHHHHH!!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!”
“What?! George—are you ok? Is someone after you?” we asked him in a panic.
“Oh. Nevermind,” he said, trying to catch his breath. “I just saw her—eerrrr. I just saw her—the Clinton’s.. umm Cocker Spaniel. Bella.”
“And you wanted to…‘kill it with fire’, George?” we nervously asked.
“NO!” he snapped. “Forget the dog. About the surprising poll results; It’s just the darndest thing. Who wouldn’t want to be around Mrs. Clinton?”
However, before Stephanopoulos could finish his comments, we were again interrupted by a muffled but unmistakable scream of Bill Clinton: “AHHHH! The Devil Beast! RUN!”
“Bella, again?” we asked.
“Yes.” Stephanopoulos softly replied.