NEW YORK, NY – Nobody likes poking fun at the WNBA, but all forty of their fat lesbian fans had better brace themselves for their favorite league to lose a lot of money (for them) next season.
As Brittney Griner waits for Kamala Harris and BLM to bail her out of a Russian jail cell, the WNBA is predicting a $54 loss. This is in addition to the quarter trillion dollars the league has already lost.
“People might joke about $54 being a small about, but that’s more money than we’ve ever made,” said the guy who runs the WNBA from the back room of a New York area dry cleaners. “We have a motto in our league that goes like this, ‘who gives a flying [explicit] as long as the NBA and Disney keep funneling us hundreds of millions of dollars because pathetic, easily-intimidated beta males run them.’ I would think of a snappier motto, but I must press these dress shirts for Mr. Lewis.”
Update: When fictional President Joe Biden was asked about getting Griner, he whispered, “I’ll get all the minors,” in his loud, creepy whisper.
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