The opening weekend of Michael Jordan’s 1996 Space Jam grossed over $27 million. LeBron James’ attempt at a remake is just gross. Therefore Warner Bros. has made the unique decision to send Space Jam 2 straight to VHS.
Many suspect the new version has suffered because LeBron and the Toons lose in the first round of the playoffs, which gives James plenty of time for long-winded speeches about the dangers of Donald Trump.
In an anticlimactic ending, James dismantles voter I.D. in outer space. Also, LeBron partnering with Pepé Le Pew to free all violent sex offenders from prison left many viewers puzzled.
The VHS release will almost assuredly hurt the film’s success as Hollywood experts report that only six VCRs remain in the Western Hemisphere. But that fact isn’t discouraging LeBron.
“It’s cool. Kind of vintage,” James said. “I think because it’s me, everyone will re-buy the equipment and watch my movie. We’re looking at an all-time box office record. If not, everyone is racist.”
Update: As the price of bricks soars due to inflation, many Antifa and BLM units have been forced to buy pallets of Space Jam 2 VHSs to hurl at small business windows.
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