ATLANTA, GA—The Centers for Disease Control is asking Americans to brace for a new podcast from Brian Stelter and Jeffrey Toobin called Spud & Tug.
The show, which features the tagline: ‘No Podcast Probes Deeper,’ is being hyped as the go-to spot for both impotent and sexually frustrated beta males everywhere.
“Sometimes Michelle lets me listen when she’s lifting weights,” Barack Obama said, endorsing the show. “They pull no punches. Although there is plenty of pulling other stuff.”
The podcast’s title is raising eyebrows as it reminds listeners that Brian Stelter is shaped like a potato and has the intellectual horsepower of an unripened vegetable. Secondly, Jeffrey Toobin is famous for furiously masturbating in public. Both characteristics of themselves the hosts wish audiences would forget.
“I told the logo maker it was Stud & Toob,” a frustrated Stelter explained. “But he was wearing a MAGA hat and said, ‘Shut up little potato dweeb,’ and he made it wrong. We don’t have any more money to correct it.”
Stelter and Toobin recently completed a conference call with executives at SiriusXM about national syndication, but the broadcast company decided to pass.
Update: Unbeknownst to Jeffrey Toobin, the call with SiriusXM was in video format, and he admits to doing something he’s ‘not particularly proud of.’
“I’ve never seen someone that excited while getting rejected, but I wish them the best,” a SiriusXM executive said.
[Headline Provided By @DistefaD Follow Him On Twitter!]
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