Twitter Retroactively Bans Betsy Ross For What She Probably Would Have Said

Twitter Retroactively Bans Betsy Ross For What She Probably Would Have Said

On Monday, Twitter announced they have made the decision to retroactively ban Betsy Ross from their platform.

The seamstress somehow managed to escape criticism for 240 years but earlier in the month Nike zeroed in on Ross and exposed her little-known “American Flag” project to the world.  The shock of this flag has sent ripples through the nation and has forced more large companies to distance themselves from Ross.

“Frankly, it was long overdue,” Twitter CEO, Jack Dorsey said.  “The hatred she showed making that dreadful flag, just imagine what she could have done with 280 characters.”

Twitter, feeling the need to justify their decision, released a series of examples of the horrible tweets Betsy Ross would have probably tweeted:

–“Hey snowflakes, swing by the Ross house if you want a spangled banner”
–“Stars & Stripes to own the libs?”  #wheremyneedle
–“Here’s a picture of my latest work” [posts picture of American Flag]
–“Kaepernick would be on a roster if he could throw the damn ball.”