Earlier this morning, The Glorious American was on the verge of reporting a story that mentioned a beautiful sunrise. But the good folks over at Facebook prevented us from jumping the gun with that claim.
At first, we published a glorious article titled: “We Hope Today’s SUN Isn’t Laundering Millions Into The Biden Crime Family Like Joe’s SON Did!”
We quickly received word from Facebook’s fact-checkers informing the story had been forbidden.
“Your link has been removed for making speculative and unsubstantiated claims,” they said.
We replied back with a dozen news stories showing Hunter Biden truly did funnel foreign money to the Biden family.
“We didn’t get past the first four words before rejecting your link,” Facebook replied. “‘We Hope Today’s SUN…’ That is an unsubstantiated claim of solar activity that offers little context or scientific consensus. 97% of Facebook scientists agree that it’s very likely the sun will stop rising because of this administration’s dangerous actions. Not only towards the climate, but also the transgendered community. And the sun’s also still furious about the whole Net Neutrality thing too.”
The Glorious American informed the Silicon Valley-based company that early indications from the east coast showed the sun was indeed rising today. Facebook then made a quick call to AOC to confirm our claim and reluctantly ceded the point.
Update: After Facebook read the rest of our headline; they called for the police to be re-assembled and for our arrest.
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